Wild Christmas was my debut novel, first published during the Christmas season of 2006 when I was a teenager. All these years later, I return to it with a fresh eye—re-editing and reworking certain passages while honoring the spirit of the original story. In the glow of nostalgia and renewal that Christmas brings, I’m delighted to present the second chapter in its newly refreshed form:
First class was Biology with Ms. Tripkin. She was very unusual and difficult in many ways to the point that she was nearly unbearable. There was something about her that was obvious, yet not easily understood. Behind her often fake smile, she held onto an ugly attitude, while carrying a chip on her shoulder, and a big burden upon her back. Just by the way she responded to every interaction made a person feel of less value. She seemed to think that she was the most important teacher in the entire school, and that she was more educated than anyone else, bragging often about her degrees and experience. Clever and well thought remarks always came out of her mouth insulting nearly every listener.
Dan saw through her partly, but not all the way, and that bothered him, to a great extent. He spent more time than he’d like to admit, thinking about her and trying to figure her out. Linzy joked that Dan thought so much about her, that he was “probably in love” and should “just get married already.” One thing he knew for certain was Ms. Tripkin received a thrill to her own ego whenever she put others down– and how peculiar as an adult she would find thrill from putting students down. Perhaps she is lonely, maybe something tragic happened to her as a child, or maybe it’s a personality disorder. Dan tried to diagnose her with what he was learning in psychology class. “You’re not going to be able to fix her…” Linzy would say, “…she’s just a broken cookie.”
“Initially, class, I want to convey how much I enjoyed your holiday gifts and the joy you all exude this season. Since you all worked arduously, and I assume you are getting exuberant about this being the concluding day before winter vacation, proceeding, I will not overburden you with too much homework. What I do expect is that you assimilate the information from your study tutorials, over this winter vacation, and fill out the assemblage of worksheets I distributed yesternoon. I realize with the holidays on the precipice, there are going to be many days in which you will miss out on the utility of my class, so I want to be assured that you still have an adequate amount of homeworkings to occupy yourselves with festively.” Ms. Tripkin liked to use big words, ones that didn’t flow naturally, and some that weren’t even real words, in an attempt to flaunt her intellect. It was all theatrical to Dan, and he despised the words coming out of her mouth. He was starting to notice a pattern, and it was clear that she misunderstood the meaning of vacation, which is a period of time devoted to pleasure, relaxation, and rest, not a time for more homework.
“Oh, and conclusively, I apologize if I offended any of you for speaking of the holidays. Some people are observing special days around the winter solstice,” she explained.
“You mean Christmas?” interjected Dan from his desk in the back of the classroom.
“I beg your pardon?” said Ms. Tripkin, in the sort of way in which Dan could tell she really did understand what he said but wanted to question him again so that he would rethink his words. Dan was sure of what he said, so he repeated it: “You mean Christmas!” This time it was a statement, not a question. “…This ‘holiday’ season you are referring to is Christmas, and the ‘holiday gifts’ are Christmas presents, and ‘winter vacation’ is really our Christmas vacation.” Dan was frustrated that Ms. Tripkin wouldn’t just say the actual name of the holiday which was on everyone’s mind..
“Excuse me, Dan, but we don’t use that terminology in my classroom.”
“Christmas?” Dan was becoming genuinely disgusted with her and was anticipating a bah humbug to crawl out of her mouth and around her plump face.
“Yes. I’m sure that many of us are in accordance with one another in that this term can be quite offensive to non-religious individuals.”
“What are you talking about Ms. Tripkin? I know that everyone in this class celebrates Christmas. You don’t have to be afraid to say it.” Anger was starting to boil within him. Ms. Tripkin’s refusal to say the word Christmas, and allude to it as some sort of curse word was ridiculous to Dan. “So, Ms. Tripkin, you are saying that we are not allowed to use the word Christmas in school because it can offend others?”
“Exactly!” she exclaimed. “We should use more inclusive language.”
“People are exposed to Christmas all the time. If you walk in a store you will see Christmas merchandise. If you turn on the radio, it’s Christmas. All the shows on TV are Christmas, and downtown is covered in…” Dan paused for a moment to wrack his mind for the right words “– Christmas lights and stupid candy canes!” Dan forcefully extended his hand in the direction he supposed was toward downtown. Accuracy wasn’t important at the moment.
Ms. Tripkin’s face showed utter fury. “Leave right now!” ordered Ms. Tripkin, “I don’t like the way you are talking to me. Never use that tone again with me,” she ordered, leaning into Dan’s face. Her breath was rank.
“Leave? What do you mean?” asked Dan.
“To the principal’s quarters!” She quickly changed her mind. “Actually, I would like to have a word with you out in the hallway, and I’d also like to use certain words with you, which I will refrain from, because we are in school.” Ms. Tripkin looked out among the students and gave an apology for the disruption of class.
Dan could feel his heart pounding within his chest. He was shook. He was usually on Ms. Tripkin’s good side, and for the most part was quiet and very conscientious in her class, but today Ms. Tripkin’s refusal to admit that Christmas was the holiday was bothering Dan. Christmas was so tied to his parents and memories of them, so as to deny Christmas was to deny them. He felt he had no choice but to stand up against this grinch.
Out in the hallway, Ms. Tripkin tried to rip into Dan’s soul with a piercing and reprimanding glare. “I am trying to teach a well-respected biology class.”
“It just bothers me that you refuse to use the word ‘Christmas’.”
“This is a biology class, and we are not going to talk about juvenile holidays.”
Dan tried to look past her insult to Christmas. “I wasn’t trying to talk about Christmas. I just wanted to make the point clear that Christmas is the holiday we are all celebrating.”
“Well, let me make a point clear…” She provided one of her patronizing smiles “…I am teaching a science class and science and religion DO NOT mix. Do I make myself translucent?”
“Many people celebrate Christmas without any religious events in mind, myself included, and even if someone doesn’t celebrate Christmas, I am going to wish them a Merry Christmas anyway. I want everyone to experience Christmas,” explained Dan.
“Well, I am not a religious person, and I don’t celebrate Christmas, and even if I was religious, which I would never be because science disproves all such things, Christmas simply is a fatuous festivus.”
“Why?” Dan didn’t quite understand what she said, but he knew it wasn’t good.
“I just don’t believe in its principles– ‘love,’ ‘joy,’ ‘peace on Earth’? Give me a break! That’s a fairytale. There is no special love congruent with Christmas.”
“I thought I heard you thanking your students for gifts. A gift is an act of love,” Dan defended.
“Actually, not even one student has given me a gift, just to solidify the record.”
“That’s sad,” said Dan, surprised by Ms. Tripkin’s rare moment of vulnerability. He understood why no one gave her a gift though. She was just not nice.
“You know what else is sad?” Ms. Tripkin cracked her insidious smile. He could tell something bad was about to be announced.
“What?” asked Dan.
“You are spending your next hour in in-school detention.” Then she added, in the most mocking of tones, “Oh, and Merry Christmas, Daniel Bailey.”
* * *
Detention was a complete hour meant for punishment and reflecting on one’s behavior. To Dan it was a place to finish his history homework due third period. Detention was always thought of as a terrible place, but to Dan the detention room had to be the most peaceful room in the entire school. There was nothing expected of one except to be quiet, and calming silence filled the room, except for the brush of the radiator which was actually a relaxing sound. He thought it would be the perfect place to finish his homework, but he didn’t realize how the peacefulness of the room would eventually lull him to sleep. He tried to focus on his homework, but he became very sleepy and could not concentrate at all. Keeping his eyes open was a chore. Despite the chairs in the detention room being still and hard, students fell asleep in them all the time, and so did Dan.
When the third period bell rang, Dan awoke suddenly, startled. He was very confused. He was disoriented, expecting only to awake from sleep in his bed, not at school. He never fell asleep in school. Within a couple of seconds, which to him felt much longer, as the confusion weighed on his mind, he realized what had happened. He was afraid that he had slept too long. He looked at the clock mounted above him on the wall. He was so confused that it took him more than just a glance to realize what time it was. According to the clock it had only been about an hour, but it sure seemed longer than that. He had slept so deeply, it felt as though a day had already passed by. He knew that with how tired he had been lately, he could have easily slept through a day, or two, or all twelve days of Christmas for that matter.
Dan came back to his senses and looked out the window. Rain was sprinkling the parking lot. He glanced at the clock one more time. It’s time for history class. I’ve got to go! He grabbed his books off his desk and ran down the hallway. Upon running, he accidentally bumped right into Linzy, who was coming around the corner. Both of them dropped their books. They got down on their knees to try and pick them up. The supposed grandma getting run over by a reindeer was nothing compared to getting trampled on by a moving herd of freshmen and a stampede of upperclassmen.
“Forget the books,” said Linzy. “We’ve got to get to class. We’ll fetch them later.” As Linzy raced away, grabbing Dan by the arm, she waved back at her textbooks on the floor. “Stay safe. Make wise choices. I love you.” She blew a kiss.
“Are you talking to your textbooks?” Dan questioned. He knew the answer. Of course she was. That’s just how Linzy was— playful beyond comparison. There were mere seconds left of their three minute transition, between classes, and the classroom for history was at the other end of the school. They walked as fast as they could, trying not to run, for they didn’t want to get in trouble for doing so. Despite all his good intentions, Dan already felt he was on the school’s short list of problematic students, thanks to Ms. Tripkin.
Soon the hallways cleared. Everyone had already made it to their classes, so nothing stood in their way until they reached the east wing. The east wing was the part of Hodge High that was currently occupied by hundreds of short and smelly middle school students. Normally the middle schoolers met in their own building, but this season the middle school building had suffered from some pipes freezing and breaking, causing lots of damage. Now, unfortunately, they had to join the crowds of students at Hodge High. Both Dan and Linzy stood staring into the hallway congested with youngsters. Their mouths dropped open in response to the scene. The middle school was on a five minute time delay from the high school.
“There’s so many of ‘em. How are we going to get to the other side?” It was like they were standing at the edge of a sea of people. All they had to do was get to the other side, but there was no path in sight, no boat to carry them over the tumultuous waves. The place was more congested than a nasal passage during the nastiest winter cold. “We’re definitely going to get in trouble for being late. What can we do?”
“What? What was that?” Linzy shouted. She couldn’t hear Dan over the chaotic mess of students.
“What can we do?” he raised his voice.
“Well, we are just going to have to charge through them,” definitively stated Linzy.
“Charge?”
“That’s right.” Linzy, preparing, moved behind Dan. He was somewhat confused. To him, charging meant running really fast without stopping, like a bull aggressively running towards his fighter. Dan assumed there was no way Linzy actually meant charge as though they were in the Plaza de Torros, but he was wrong. Gripping Dan’s backpack, her head bent low to shield her face from any flailing limbs, she cried, “Charge!” She was serious. Dan made sure his feet had a tight grip on the floor. The muscles of his upper body became very tense, and in his eyes there was a look of ambition and aggression. Suddenly Dan charged through the crowd of middle schoolers with his feet pacing like a bull and his chest flexed to steel. It was a success!
All of this caught Linzy by surprise. She half expected Dan not to play along. It was a fifty-fifty chance with Dan. Sometimes he’d buy into her wild propositions, and other times he was more reserved and sensible. This time he had taken her quite seriously, and his fierce aggression really stuck out to her. She liked it. He provided a way for her to get to class. However, all through the charge, Linzy kept repeating, “I’m sorry… Excuse me.” She wanted to be an example to the younger students of beauty and grace, not a raging bull.
A brief sense of relief hit both of them as they emerged from the arena and their classroom door was before them, and it was still open! They quietly walked, a bit ashamedly, over to their desks and sat down. The teacher, Mr. Hallowath, was talking to the class of students, but he became silent as Dan and Linzy entered the room.
“Excuse me,” he said, “but you two are late. May I see your hall passes?” Those words struck anger into Dan. It was like Mr. Hallowath was playing some sort of game. The more students he could get in trouble, the more points he scored.
“Don’t have one,” said Dan.
“Don’t have one? Don’t have one?” he repeated to himself.
“The hallways were very crowded with middle schoolers and it was very difficult to get through—”
“I don’t want to hear any excuses. You should be ashamed. How did everybody else make it here on time?” he asked.
“Because—”
“It doesn’t matter now. I will see both you and Linzy after school in detention.”
Dan’s anger was boiling, but he quietly sat down at his desk and opened his history book. He couldn’t even find the right page, for he was so upset and unable to concentrate.
Linzy leaned over and whispered to Dan, “I think Ms. Tripkin and Mr. Hallowath just need Jesus.” He didn’t know what to make of her remark, but it really captivated him. It seemed to come out of nowhere. What did she mean by that, and did he need Jesus too? What does Jesus have to do with anything? Dan wasn’t particularly religious. He had a hard time grappling with the idea of a loving God after the death of his parents, and so never really explored the topic.
“I will be coming around to collect the homework now,” Mr. Hallowath announced. Dan opened his notebook and stared upon a blank piece of paper, remembering that he had fallen asleep while trying to do the homework during detention. That was not good, but Dan could almost brush it aside, for he kept thinking, how can Linzy tell if someone needs Jesus?
Read more about Wild Christmas on my website: www.joshhodge.com/wild-christmas
Chapter 3 Coming Soon!
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